Sunday, October 28, 2012

Not so dreamy

What do you dream? Do you know? Do you remember?

I remember many of the dreams I've had throughout my life. Some are terrible, but most of those that I remember were happy dreams.

For at least a decade, I don't think I've had any "good" dreams, the kind that leave you disappointed by the interruption of waking up. My dreams are anxiety-filled, confusing, serious, and full of confrontation. The settings and topics vary widely, but they are never, ever good dreams.

It's not that I have nightmares or night terrors. Those do come along, but infrequently. There was a time about six or seven years ago when I would often wake up during the night, terrified from a frightening dream, but eventually my mind calmed itself and those dreams stopped coming.

Sleep itself is a problem for me, but I know I've finally slept when I wake up from a dream. The dreams I have now--and I dream vividly every night--would best be described as dark, disturbing, and overwhelming in their detail.

I don't believe that dreams have representational or clairvoyant meaning, but I do think that dreams tell something about the mind of the dreamer. What do my unsettling, anxiety-filled dreams say about me? Maybe I'm just disturbed.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The wrong diagnosis question

I often wonder how many adults with ADD/ADHD are walking around blasted out of their minds on the wrong drugs because they were incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I would imagine there are a lot.

Saturday, October 20, 2012


The changes caught you off guard, didn't they? Did you think you were in the wrong place? You're not. Same old brain full of nonsense empties itself here.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


I haven't said this in a very long time, but most days, I really just want to blow my fucking brains out. I thought I should clarify that this seemingly never changes.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Thinking that maybe

Thinking that maybe the title of this blog should be "Solipsistic." Or not.