Sunday, March 28, 2010

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Sad, but undisputable

Nobody would miss me if I were to die. Frank's life would be impacted by financial hardship, so I know he would miss my earnings. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure Frank's day-to-day routine would be unaffected by my absence.

I've been taking inventory lately. I have never felt so irrelevant, so disconnected, or so ignored. I think it was Elie Wiesel who said, "The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference."

I believe that no one loves me, but I am also certain that no one hates me. They just don't care.

This is not a complaint; it is simply reality.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I need to whine

The brainucopia is irritated. It needs some soothing something or other.

I lost my 8gb flash drive. It had a lot of files on it, including some important ones that were not backed up elsewhere. There were also a lot of personal documents on there, along with photos and some medical records. I am a moron.

The check engine light has been on in my car for almost a week. I checked the gas cap and filled the gas tank, but the light is still on. Apparently, according to the folks at Jeep, the catalytic converter is attempting to speak to me. I've had those conversations before and they're never cheap.

Still no word from Joanna.

Jolie is also laying low.

My husband's evil cat tried to rip my arm off near the shoulder and now I have a nasty puncture wound and deep purple bruise. It looks like that cute young man from Twilight was sucking on the inner side of my upper arm. Surprisingly, the cat is still alive.

My cold has forced me to be a mouth breather and as a result, my belly has a trapped air bubble deep in my lower intestine. No yoga pose or relaxation exercise has done anything to dislodge it. This is painful.

I've been more diligent about doing my physical therapy exercises at home. No change in my pelvis. Sigh.

My car needs tires; I don't have the money.

I lost 12 pounds but my clothing size didn't change at all. Not even a little. Nothing. In fact, I tried on some clothes last week and half of the size 16W pants and skirts were way too small.

The tax changges this year meant we lost the entire amount we got as stimulus money 12 months ago.

Nobody loves me. Not only that, I was unfriended by several people on Facebook--and they're all relatives. I am filled with inane thoughts. I get it.

I spent over $100 at Staples on Monday and today I got a coupon in the mail for 15% off my next purchase. No, it wasn't sent out because I bought something; apparently, it was a non-event-specific mailing that meant I went shopping two days too early.

Next post: acupuncture, medical marijuana, and other recent adventures.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Fuck-me pumps they're not

Among the many insults my body has thrown at me, it is the foot pain I resent the most. Random nerve firings cause muscle spasms and those muscles yank bone from where it was intended to reside. This causes pain, of course, but it has also altered my gait, which in turn has tortured my feet.

Some days, I can barely walk.

After investigating the cost of orthotics, I opted for Very Good Shoes, per the advice of the physical therapists. Here's the thing, though: My feet are very oddly shaped and sized, which has always limited my shoe choices. While trying to buy Very Good Shoes, my options became severely limited.

I did the best with what my feet would tolerate. Pictured here is one-half of a pair of $200 shoes. I didn't know whether I should wear them or frame them.

There are two other pairs of shoes, resulting in a $389 shopping trip. Oh, the fun things I could have done with almost $400. Buying dorky shoes was not among them. Frank looked at the choices before me in the shoe store and said, "Oh, come on honey. Just go for the SAS shoes and get it over with. You're practically there already..."

Friday, March 5, 2010

just an observation

I have 66 friends on Facebook, but not one real-life, in-person friend I could call for a conversation, to hang out at home, or to go out for coffee.

Not whinin'...just sayin'.