Almost 1:00 a.m.

I got out of bed an hour ago. I couldn't sleep/ Sometime when I can't sleep, I come here and read my blog. I look at stats to see what other people have taken a look at. The top topics haven't changed:

• Shingles
• 45 Mercy Street
• Shingles and pot
• Blood spots under my skin after weight training
• Painting the bedroom purple
• Hearts will never be practical
• Lilacs

These aren't even my best posts, but for whatever keyord search reason, they get a lot of hits.

I should be writing new things. I should be writing about my job, my nonprofit, my latent depression, the girl I've been mentoring for the last four years, overwhelming loneliness, how ADHD has been messing with my head, how I babble but have nothing to talk to anyone about, why I think I have early onset dementia, all of the bloggers I used to follow who closed up shop and I now really miss, my thoughts on politics, and why I still won't see a doctor unless I experience unbearable suffering--and not a minute before. those things. Those things that fill my head but that I can't write about because I can't focus.

The Xanax just kicked in. I need to give sleep another try.