Dear Dr. Asshole, A year ago, you called me a nutjob and said that my issues were obviously somatic illness. Of course, you had only known me about ten minutes at that point, but who am I to argue with someone who has a big medical degree and who works in a distinguished field such as cardiology? (I probably shouldn't mention that my primary care doctor said cardiologists are largely arrogant, egotistical pricks with a god complex).
In the year since that meeting, I have managed to essentially eschew all healthcare. Oh, I still go to the dentist, but that's it. A pretty smile matters when you work with people, as I do.
You see, at first I was angry, but then I realized you gave me permission to be set free. If I die from an illness, we can say that I may not have been a nutjob who did not have somatic illness after all, and we can also acknowledge that I accepted my life the way nature intended me to live it. There's something Zen about that, right? More people should do it.
Now that I don't have to pay any medical bills or deductibles, I can enjoy my earnings. That's a positive right there. We're currently interviewing landscapers and Pilates instructors.
I am free. I am unburdened by medical advice and other usually erroneous bullshit.
As my 50th birthday approaches, I have given myself permission to opt out of looking for trouble. It feels wonderful to be in charge with no egomaniacal but clueless doctors telling me what to do. Oh, I still have more pain and discomfort than I ever did, but now that I know it's apparently coming from my psyche (according to you), I pay it no mind. Unless I see blood (and that could just be the miracle of stigmata, right?), I see no reason for concern since you saw no reason for concern.
Yes, as 50 looms on the horizon, I celebrate the discomforts I do not suffer. I take no medications except the one that spares me having a period! No gynecological exams! No colonoscopy! No annual physical! No mammograms! No inane forms to fill out!
Free at last! God almighty, I am free at last!
1 comment:
Me, too. I salute you.
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