Sunday, October 4, 2009

A whole new direction

What if everything you thought was troubling you turned out to be attributed to the wrong cause? Vague symptoms evolve until they meet the criteria for a diagnosis. Medicine, practiced by process of elimination, yields few good answers. Very strange hoof beats go unheard.



Although my life history shows a predisposition for playing in risky neurological traffic, I hadn't had a full-blown bipolar episode until I was in my forties. A condition like that doesn't usually just jump out from behind the behavioral bushes more than four decades into a life, but in my case, it did. Why?

Systemic disorders with no definitive diagnostic tools such as IBS, allergies, post-herpetic neuralgia, migraines, crashing chronic fatigue, vertigo, vision focus problems, pelvic pain syndrome (encompassing at least five other symptoms), random rashes with no apparent cause, and insomnia, all torment me. Nobody has been able to tell me why.

I have always felt inextricably wed to Western medicine. It's not that I reject other medical beliefs on principle, it's just that I like to know how the answers came about. Where is the empirical data? How were the research studies carried out? How much data is there? From Reiki to homeopathy, I remain skeptical without vetted, peer-reviewed data.

There is a fungus among us
This brings me to Candida. No, not the yeast infection everyone knows. Systemic Candida found in the intestines could be the key to everything. Apparently, Candida run amok is sending Americans' health into ruins. We're all going down in blobs of wheat and dairy products, fermented with heaps of sugar. Heaven help us all.

Did I mention there is no definitive test for Candida? It's all a trial-and-error hunch. Hmmm. This sounds a lot like getting to a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder. Leap of faith. Have I mentioned how desperately I want to discontinue medication? It's making life better for the people around me, but frankly, things are not so fabulous from the inside out. But if this Candida thing turns out to be the real deal, maybe I won't need any medication for anything ever again.

If this turns out to be true and I endure some truly unpleasant months treating the condition, then I will be cured. Period. Just...cured. Cured from the brain to the toes. Cured of everything.

Here is just some of what yeast is supposedly doing to our bodies:
Genito-urinary infections, food and chemical allergies, chronic skin infections, rashes or itching, recurrent hives, cravings for sugar, breads, or alcoholic beverages, unusual or severe fatigue, spaciness, lethargy, mental fog, depression, poor memory, ADD, numbness, tingling, burning, insomnia, muscle aches, weakness, joint pain, swelling, dry mouth or throat, bad breath, nasal congestion, post-nasal drip, nasal itching, recurrent cough, wheezing, bronchitis, itching inside ears, ear infections, earaches, abdominal pain and cramps, bloating, gas, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, heartburn, mucus in stools, loss of libido, endometriosis, PMS, anxiety, depression, irritability, cold extremities, drowsiness, low body temperature, uncoordination, mood swings, headaches, dizziness, body odor not relieved by washing, excessive sweating, cancer, heart disease, MS, hypoglycemia, asthma, breast cancer, and arthritis, among others. Or so I've heard.

If I had known it was yeast that was making me so miserable, I would have tried to fix things long ago.

In the medical community, Candida has a nickname: The Disease that Doesn't Exist. I think that this diagnosis was made up to placate people like me who say, "You can see the symptoms, but why, oh why, can't you find the cause?" They could say it was gremlins or the effects of post-alien-abduction stress, but that wouldn't sound quite as plausible. You can always say a diagnostic tool is getting closer when talking about yeast, but you can't really get anyone to believe you when you say that about gremlins.

I feel miserable and have for so long that I will clap my hands and try to believe. Whatever it takes.

This thought was put into my head by the fine medical professionals who have been treating me with limited success. Even they are looking for some other avenue to pursue. We're all frustrated, but at least they are getting paid.

After doing lots of research online, I decided to buy a book: Complete Candida Yeast Guidebook, Revised 2nd Edition, by Jeanne Marie Martin and Zoltan P. Rona, M.D. This book says what all of the Internet information said, except it gives more in-depth explanations of the syndrome and it includes 200 recipes you can make out of wishes, brown rice and spinach--that's about all you can eat on the Candida diet.

Just for the record, I haven't had a vaginal yeast infection since 1988. I have never had thrush or any candida goo in my esophagus or mouth. I don't think I've ever had a fungal nail infection. I have, however, had topical (external) yeast infections of the skin across the throat area of my neck the past few summers. Just so you understand how confounding this is.

Candida is controlled entirely by diet and stress reduction. Meditation, yoga, and regular exercise are recommended. I think there's a rule out there somewhere that requires the stress-reduction-meditation-yoga-exercise clause be attached to any treatment for any illness, including leprosy.

You need to see the food list, or lack of food list, to really appreciate Albicans treatment. This includes: no caffeine, no sugar at all in any form ever, no wheat, no dairy, no gluten, no condiments, no peanut butter, no grapes, no (most) fruit, no juice, no mushrooms (no loss), carrots, alcohol, coffee, tea, cheese of any kind, no potatoes, no grains (most), no cereal, no legumes, no packaged foods, and nothing that contains any kind of yeast at all. I am a lazy typist, so this list is far from exhaustive.

The idea is to starve the yeast. I believe the real idea is to starve the patient and then make her so fucking miserable, she will never again complain about any symptoms because she will have something much worse to use as a reference on the misery index.

I am going to do this, but I'll bet I still don't lose weight. I'm pretty sure I am still immune to that.

5 comments:

Sophie in the Moonlight said...

Personally, I'd rather have a rash than give up chocolate. but that's just me.

However, if I could find some dietary cure for the migraines I get about twice a week, then I'd do it. However, most of my migraine problems seem induced by stress, environment (sunny hot days KILL me) and hormones.

Let us know how this diet works for you. I do hope that it cures what ails you. Truly.

Laurel said...

This will scare you: you sound like my mother. She's been talking about the Candida scourge for at least two decades. But then again, she was on the Atkins diet before there was an Atkins diet. And here's what she eats now: steamed fish, spinach, lettuce, collard greens, brown rice, quinoa, soy milk, olive oil and raw boiled cashews and almonds. done. seriously.

May Voirrey said...

Oh, Laurel, don't say that. I am so skeptical of this, it will likely fail just from my bad attitude. The yeast will have that on its side and use it to its advantage over there on the Dark Side.

Knowing how absolutely fabulous your mom usually feels does not inspire me with confidence in undertaking this dietary challenge and meeting with a successful outcome. I didn't think I was a picky eater until I looked at that food list, though.

Giving up cheese is like, like, a fucking tragedy.

Laurel said...

Well, you don't have a degenerative lung disease, congestive heart failure and pulmonary hypertension. I have a sneaking suspicion that these are the main contributors to my mother not feeling good. She wants to blame the candida because she can attempt to correct it. It's too hard to correct the other things, especially when you're 75.

She does eat fruit but she almost never eats sugar. She truly thinks sugar is the root of all evil.

There's plenty of testimony that sticking to this diet will help. In fact, I may even have a book to send you, unless Michael already threw it out. I'll look. And hey, my mother was right about a lot of things, including Atkins and that vitamin D3 is better than the other D vitamins and that your body can't process margarine -- hell, they're all saying that now and she said it back in 1973. She was ahead of her time...

May Voirrey said...

Well, you don't have a degenerative lung disease, congestive heart failure and pulmonary hypertension.

How can someone who has lived so wholesomely end up in such poor health? Then there's my mother who is the poster girl for health neglect but who has always been basically just fine. Clumsy, but fine. Your mom always was ahead of her time in terms of understanding nutrition and supplements.

The book I have is good and the one that is recommended everywhere I looked for info. Can't wait to try those brown rice recipes.

When I see the endocrinologist/bariatric doctor, she is, apparently, going to check my vitamin and mineral content, and that should be interesting.

I'm unhappy about the yeast thing because my understanding is that the changes are permanent. No wheat, no gluten, no dairy, no sugar, no juice, no alcohol, no coffee, no caffeine, and almost no fruit. That's a pretty sad forever.