I learn the darndest things on the Internet

Verapamil was prescribed for me last fall. I hadn't heard of it, and I haven't met anyone else who takes it. It was prescribed for Prinzmetal's Angina, that incredibly rare condition I have that occasionally makes it feel like I'm having a heart attack, although there's nothing wrong with my heart at all. No, the problem is, as usual, in my oddly wired brain.

Somewhere in the archives of this blog, there's a post called something like, "Dear Doctor, why did you send me to this asshole?" It recounts my experience of finally speaking up about the episodes of chest pain, my initial diagnosis by my primary care doctor, and the most humiliating encounter with a specialist I've ever had. It was like something out of House, and it made me (mostly) quit going to doctors entirely.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and I went to a new doctor, with whom I shared almost nothing of my previous medical history. My chart now reads like it belongs to some other patient, but the diagnosis of Prinzmetal's was confirmed and I was put on Verapamil.

The type of angina I have is poorly understood, but it is known to be caused by a rogue electrical signal from the brain that tells the coronary artery to constrict, which in turn temporarily restricts blood and oxygen flow to the heart. Episodes typically come on when the patient is at rest or even asleep. This type of vasospasm is not brought on by emotional or physical stress. It's just a short circuit.

Here's the thing. Almost every medical issue I've had in the last decade comes back to electricity. I am the body electric.

I ran out of Verapamil a couple of weeks ago and didn't bother to refill the prescription. The condition I have isn't usually life-threatening, and frankly, I hate taking daily medication for anything unless it's going to save me from imminent death.

I stopped sleeping and started thinking. A lot. I started obsessing. I was on the verge of something that I hadn't experienced in a long time--racing thoughts. This realization was like a splash of ice water racing through my body. Not again. That was never supposed to happen again.

It occurred to me to look up more information about Verapamil. Blah, blah, blah...angina, blood pressure...blah, blah, blah...may be used to treat other conditions.... Other conditions? What other conditions?

As it turns out, Verapamil is sometimes prescribed to prevent mania, hypomania, and racing thoughts. Ahhh, so maybe, although I've been cleared of the BP diagnosis, it's the Verapamil that's keeping the ADD part of my from spinning off into the stratosphere. Hmmm.