I'm terrified

Things I have googled in the last 24 hours:

• Overseas jobs
• New Zealand immigration
• Americans in Mexico
• How much does it cost to forfeit US citizenship
• Best places to retire outside US

I'll probably be out of a job within the year since the president-elect has repeatedly stated he wants to keep out refugees. Hiring Steve Bannon as a top policy advisor seems to make that a more assured reality. Who would have thought that's how my career would end?

I wrote this earlier this week:

I think what I'm struggling with most is that it's all going to be gone, like it never existed: A recovering economy, climate change mitigations, free speech, a free and independent press, religious freedom (unless you identify yourself as a white conservative Christian), immigration, humanitarian programs that give a hand up to the most vulnerable, Social Security, consumer protections, workplace safety standards, environmental protections, a balanced Supreme Court, women's reproductive rights, LGBQT advances, sensible foreign policy, firearm background checks, due process, medical care available to all and not just the wealthy, all of it.

All of it. It's all going away in the next four years, but somehow that makes America great again in some people's minds. I can barely breathe. I can't believe people actually champion those changes. Hitler is back and people are happy about the prospect of implementing Fascism led by a rapist. It is mind boggling. I still think Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" should be required reading for anyone over the age of 18. It's supposed to be a cautionary tale, but I get it that a lot of people consider it a how-to manual.

This prompted readers to say things like, "Oh, you're being dramatic." "Don't write the obituary yet." Let's give the benefit of the doubt." "It's going to be fine, we're stronger than anything the incoming administration can come up with." "He'll surround himself with good people."

I don't think Steve Bannon is a good person. I don't think the followers of his doctrine are good people. Kellyanne the Trump spinner said that journalists and media outlets need to be really careful what they say about Trump, seeming to warn that no criticism would be tolerated--it would be litigated. 

My week of reading finished with Masha Greene's article in the New York Review of Books about surviving an autocracy. I cried.

I don't think I can stay here. I am terrified.