Crabby

The thing about September/October is...the light changes. It is so subtle that most people don't perceive the lowering shift of the sun's angle or the length of the days that shorten first in small increments--by seconds--and eventually by leaps in full minutes. I am not most people, which is to say, mine is not most brains.

Enter the bipolar brain.

It's easy to sum up the illness as a simple mood disorder or chemical disorder, but BP is immensely more complex than that. It is also a disorder of the perception of light. Too much can induce mania; too little brings in waves of severe depression that can last for an entire winter. The wrong kind doesn't do much of anything.

Even I do not consciously perceive the change in light, but I know it's here. I don't get depressed--not right away, anyhow--but I do get bitchy and impatient. Maybe even a little mean. This is the time of year when I start to withdraw and the people who know me start backing away. They sense it. I should come with a warning label. My moods have teeth.