Sadness analyzed

I've been sad lately. Some of it is pharmaceutically induced, but most of it isn't. Usually if I make a list of what's troubling me, I can find a logical path back to normal mood management. Sometimes it doesn't work.

So, things that make me sad generally or lately:

• Loss. The trade-off of having things that matter to me, things I enjoy, taken away from my life in order to accomodate my health or behavior. This kind of compromise is no compromise at all. It's just watching pieces of my life slide away in the name of getting "better."
  
• Having Bipolar Disorder.
  
• Never getting ahead financially.
  
• Spending what money I do have on medical bills or car repairs.
  
• Winter.
  
• stories about dolphins suffering in frozen waters
  
• Animals being hurt
  
• The human cost of war
  
• My husband having no interest in the things that are most important to me
  
• My inability to connect with people
  
• Police officers who arrest--handcuffs, booking, fingerprints and all--a frightened 15-year-old African girl for shoplifting a lipstick at the supermarket.
  
• Nobody to talk to, nothing to talk about
  
• My body, my weight
  
• chronic pain
  
• Feeling so totally unloved, irrelevant, and insignificant to all but maybe two people out of 6.7 billion.
  
• My growing lack of enthusiasm for my job and the people connected to it.