I just don't feel like it

May is exhausted from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. There's tired, and then there's drag your ass through a normal pace of life. Sometimes I wonder: if there's no illness present in my body, then maybe all of those pharmaceuticals rearranged my brain.

Is it dysthymia? Is it some mycoplasma bacteria nibbling away at my tissues?

My mood is OK, but it's hard to be perky and happy when fatigue is this unreasonable. It makes the chronic pain seem like an afterthought.

Can't I wake up just one day and feel great? And when is the doctor going to rerun all of the blood work to find out if the wads of supplements I take are even having any benefit? Are we just guessing?

On the upside, someone told me today I look wonderful. I believe that's a euphemism for "looks like you lost weight." I still have to lose 13 pounds just to get out of the "obese" category on the BMI chart and make it down to "seriously overweight." It's another 25 after that just to get to the high end of "healthy/normal." Pardon me if I seem underwhelmed by the 30 pounds gone up to this point.

My weight is not that important to me right now, and I never thought I'd say that. I just want to have some energy.

• D3 = 105,600 IU per week
• B12 = 2500 mcg/day (sublingual)
• Magnesium = 250mg/day
• NAC = 1200mg/day
• L-Lysine = 1,000mg/day
• Flax Seed Oil = 1,000mg/day
• B Complex with C
• Female-specific multi-vitamin

Nobody should be this tired all the time. Maybe I'm just mental.