The results of my latest labs came back today. Everything is solidly normal. The psychiatrist has diagnosed me as misdiagnosed and relatively sane.Still, old thoughts are embedded, seemingly for the long term. There's not a day that goes by that I don't have some sort of suicide ideation. Lately, that's ramping up because it's multiple times during the day. I think I'm actually planning for it. Still.
Perhaps I'm borrowing from Jolie on the 50-year decision. I'm less than six months out, but frankly, I'm not convinced I'm going to make it that far. I don't fit anywhere. I don't connect.
My life is killing me.
2 comments:
If your life is killing you, then what can you do to change your life? You deserve a life that is more compatible with your deepest, immutable needs. What can you change, May? I KNOW you are capable. I have every confidence in you.
Life kills everyone when it's time...
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