Make...it...stop

The phantom itch has returned. It's driving me mad. The underside of my right arm is having a full-blown attack of nervous-system weirdness. It started a week ago, waking me from a sound sleep. The itch was deep in my right armpit, and I knew what it was before I had fully reached consciousness.

Scratching at my armpit wasn't going to help--I knew that--so I pressed on it, hard. That immediately caused deep, deep pain to substitute itself for the itch, and that's when I knew it was post-herpetic neuralgia dropping in for a new visit of indeterminate length.

Itching is a cruel trick the body plays on the mind.

This time around, it's not only the underside of my arm (from elbow to armpit) that is tormenting me. My scalp itches, as well. I pulled out the Nizoral shampoo, and after using it for a week, it occurred to me that there is nothing wrong with my scalp; it's another manifestation of phantom itch. It has also been accompanied by the sensation that a gnat or a hair (or many of either) is traipsing across my ankle. No. My arm. No. My face. No. My shin. No, no, no...the top of my foot.

Breathe deeeeeeply. Concentrate on not feeling these sensations. Close your eyes and dissociate from this experience. You are very, very good at this, May. Breathe. Relax. Think in a different direction.

Everytime I Google my symptoms new and old, I come up with Multiple Sclerosis. There's an unsettling thought.

Think a positive thought, May. There is the most delicious cool breeze blowing in the window.