Thursday, June 12, 2008

Time flies when you're blogging fun

I blog, therefore I exist. My thoughts are not confined to the limitations of my neural pathways.

I have been writing this blog for one year and four days. I missed my own blogaversary because it didn't seem like a year had passed. When I started this blog, I was very angry and bitter. Some of those emotional rough edges have been smoothed out a lot, but there's still work to be done.

A year ago I commented that I was relieved to be feeling so very much better and I believed I had come to the most effective place the medications could offer. I see now that I had oversimplified what the terms of recovery and stability would be. At this time, I'm functioning much better than a year ago, but "better" is a difficult term to describe.

It was a big year. I started shaking thoughts out of my head and they spun off into the blogosphere. It brought me calm. I talked about all of the stars exploding in my head, those bright, white ideas that were blinding me from the inside out. That's how I could see with perspective.

(My drugs just started kickin in, babbling nonsense to follow soon.)

Topics I covered in a year
Loathing exercise
Random facts
Tales of police encounters
Therapy, top and bottom, so to speak
Friends and why I fired them
Friends and why I don't want new ones who know where I live
Life with family
Wedding pictures
A sliced cat
Starting a Nonprofit
Suicide again
Voluntarily determined end-of-life issues.
Bipolar disorder at least once. Maybe twice.
Refugee profiles.
Self-loathing (with more to come.)

Those were the most common themes. It's possible that like a monkey in an experiment, I merely typed a lot and said nothing at all.

1 comment:

photo_chiq said...

congratulations on one year of blogging. I look forward to reading through next years thoughts and ideas. I am trying to get my partner to blog as well if for no other reason than to give her another outlet for those blinding thoughts.. we will see what this year brings us!