a memory

Sometimes when I feel bad, I look at pictures that might help me to feel better. Since my wedding anniversary is Valentine's Day, I've spent the past few Februaries going through my wedding pictures. It was a day when I was only half as dorky as usual. Nowhere in the pictures can you see the depression and anxiety that were beginning to devour any sense of joy or normalcy in my life.

I wore a peach-colored satin garter over my long underwear, but it kept sliding because it was satin and a little too big. I had left my garment tape and little safety pins back at the hotel. I kept trying to be discreet in making adjustments, but at one point I just got frustrated, yanked up my dress, and aggressively repositioned the garter. Right at that moment, I heard a chorus of camera shutters clicking. My head snapped up in surprise--I had been unaware anyone was watching me. And when they kept shooting, I spontaneously laughed out loud.

It was a good day. I didn't screw up.