I'm pretty sure that either my head or my heart is going to explode from stress, frustration, fatigue, hormones and whatever other forces are simultaneously crushing me. No assistive, self-destructive force is going to be needed. I'm pretty sure my body is going to spontaneously self-destruct if this keeps up. It's OK, because I'm not sure how much I can take.
It's totally external, out of my hands, not in my control, and not really about me. I'm stuck in the middle of a terrible circumstantial tornado.
And also repeatedly swooped down upon by idiots, which just adds to the challenges.
I need to win the lottery, because seriously, the way things are going, I'm not going to have an income by the end of 2012.
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