It's like this

I am bored beyond description. Furthermore, I have nothing to say. I feel worn out and overwhelmed physically, emotionally, and mentally. My brain won't articulate what it wants; instead, it seems to have just closed up shop, letting the rest of the systems and structures fall into disrepair.

I was listening to the Motherlode by Sara Hickman this morning, and I had never really listened to this song before, but today the lyrics meant something--to me, anyway. My former friend MJ used to swear that Sara had bipolar disorder. Anything's possible. She seems to write about my life a lot, for sure.

(Excerpted from Quiet Desperation)

I try my hardest to be too many people
Too many people want me to be
But the truth is a bubble, taking up room
If I could pop it maybe then I could breathe …

Now I’m living in quiet desperation
I’m living in somebody else’s dream
I’m living a life of wanting something
That I can’t even seem to believe

You’re looking in my eyes … do you see me waving back inside?
This isn’t how it all has to be
But the laughter hides tears
That can’t soothe a soul
That feels it is losing the best of its years …


I can't find words of my own today despite the lack of space in my head for more thoughts. In lieu of actual thought processing, then, I will just post some pictures of stuff growing in my yard.