Sunday, July 19, 2009

They call it Cyberchondria

If you feel sick long enough, your mind starts to develop all sorts of theories about the etiology of your maladies. The Internet can be a comfort if you find strength in education. Or, it can just be the trigger for a massive anxiety attack. I have a sense of humor, so I can read about my symptoms all day long and chuckle at the outrageous things people pretend to know and then share online.

Having spent some time online today, here are my diagnostic conclusions after entering every symptom I have (including those attached to existing conditions):
It's tuberculosis
It's Multiple Sclerosis
It's hysteria
It's psychosomatic illness
It's cancer
It's candida
It's Karma
It's allergies
It's god's will
It's a test of faith (failed!)
It's a chemical imbalance
It's menopause
It's a drug side-effect

In 2000, I had knee surgery. As I signed all of the forms, I was surprised to see a clause that said "I understand that medicine is not an exact science..." Oh. That inspires pre-surgical confidence.

Hook me up with a good lab and a broadband Internet connection, and I'll have myself figured out in no time at all.

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