First, let me take a moment to appreciate the persons who came up with the concept of tagless underwear, tagless T-shirts, tagless camisoles, microfiber, and Gold Bond antiseptic wipes. Everybody say 'Hallelujah!' Hallelujah!
I'd like to ask the makers of Vicodin why it doesn't do anything for me. Am I immune to it, or is the pain that far off the chart? For a long time, I thought that bipolar disorder was the worst thing my body could come up with to do to itself. And then I got shingles. I have begged for deliverance from both.
Today I mulled over which is worse. If the doctor is right (and I hope he isn't), I have a strong possibility of being left with permanent nerve damage and postherpetic neuralgia as a result of the shingles. Then, there's bipolar disorder. If I had to choose one or the other, I think the BP. At least there are ways to manage that pain. It' easier to hide, and, I'm learning, something you can work through.
This other thing...It's a monster. If it does stick around, I'll be in trouble. I don't know how the stress of chronic pain--this pain--wouldn't eventually trigger me into a deep depression.
As a footnote, I am about to stress myself out into the stratosphere. Early tomorrow morning, I leave for a conference in New York City. The medications nauseate me, my body is its own portable torture operation, and I have to hare a room. If this doesn't trigger me, then I've proven the strength of my constitution.
I am so afraid of being stuck in my room, sick, that I bought a contract and wireless modem for Verizon Broadband Wireless service for my laptop. I wasn't planning on taking the computer until I got sick. I hope to be able to keep in touch while I'm there. This may be the only place I get to work out my "stuff."
For now, I just want to make it through that very long flight. Next post, East Coast!
Yay!! May has broadband wireless! Yes, it would be crappy to be left with no distraction should the need arise.
Take it from a fellow medical-oddity -- you also might NOT have permanent nerve damage. I'll be rooting along with you for that particular scenario. :-)
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