Because I still don't have a tattoo

Shopping should be easier for plus-size women. Half the country is obese, but the women's section is tiny in pretty much every clothing store except for Talbot's Woman and Dress Barn Woman. Somehow, every female below a 1X is not a woman; they're ladies. I've reached a point in my life where I feel very womanly.

Shopping is hard. It's especially hard because not only am I a 16W, but I'm not quite 5'2." Petites are too short, regular pants are too long, and I refuse to hem my pants or pay the short person's tax, otherwise known as tailoring fees, to have it done.

When I get discouraged, I buy accessories. I have a lot of accessories. A couple of years ago, I gained a liking for graphic Tees and bags. Then, I met my friend Jolie who is very into tattoo art. Like me, she doesn't have a tattoo, despite the affinity for tattoo art. It was Jolie who made me aware that what I like is tattoo art. Oh.

Marc Eko bag. Somebody generic shirts. Can't afford Ed Hardy, even from Ross and TJ Maxx Last week I bought Skechers that are, apparently, designed by a famous tattoo artist. It was a discouraging day of shopping for pants. When all dignity had been wrung out of me in the dressing room, it was time to wander over to accessories.

I have no pants, but now I own these cool Skechers. Love 'em. The Koi would make a splendid tattoo, wouldn't it? The waves aren't bad, either.