Estate planning

Ever since Padam's suicide last month, I keep thinking about something the grief counselor said. She said that most people who commit suicide don't leave a note, and those who do almost always leave rambling letters that make no sense. I had heard this before. It's addressed in Kay Redfield Jamison's book, Night Falls Fast. The problem is, I think it's a generalization. Some people leave eloquent prose explaining why dying was their choice.

The trick to writing a proper suicide letter is to plan ahead and write when you're healthy. I understand the inevitable. Death is inevitable. There is no ethical component to dying.

I've been working on my letter for some time now. Should I need to use it, it will be well thought out, articulate, and unambiguous. I believe in courtesy. And maybe having the last word.

Frank won't need to read whatever the final product turns out to be. He already knows about the intent and the reason. Other people will be sure to ask him, so I figure it will be helpful if he can make photocopies of the letter for the questioners to read on their own. Frank won't want to be pestered about this.

Having taken my huge nightly handful of pills (including extra Baclofen), I am now falling asleep. I need to go to bed before I lose the sleepy groove. It's so precious. Zzzzzz.