Befuddled not bedazzled

I used to have a brain and it worked pretty well. Of course, throughout my entire life, I experienced moments or even longer periods of fuzzy thinking. I had trouble paying attention, so I would miss out on things, or else I was so busy doing and thinking that I would space out on things insignificant or of major importance. I am that person most likely to leave the stove on or to forget to lock the front door (actually, I did that a year ago--in fact, I left the door unlocked and wide open).

It keeps Frank on his toes and gives his OCD something to latch onto.

Every once in awhile, my brain gets full and needs to be decluttered (hence, Brainucopia). I usually know it's time when I start to have amnesia-like symptoms. I have a low frustration tolerance in certain situations, but nothing, nothing makes me lose my mind and patience quite like not being able to find something I have misplaced. If someone ever wanted to really play with my head, all he or she would need to do would be to hide something I would be likely to go looking for.

It's about the damn sterling round and crystal faceted beads I bought for a project. In order to get the best price, I went in with others so we could buy in bulk. The order came, I had it with me at an event we attended, and then...amnesia. I didn't need the beads that night, and we were busy, and I remember having the packet in my hand thinking, "We don't need these right now. I'll put them away and we can deal with them later."

And from that point, I have absolutely no memory of what I did next. Nothing. Zero. Gone.

Someone said I articulated that thought and I put the packet into a bag--one of six we had with us. Sure, if you say so.

It has been a couple of weeks and I cannot find this stuff. The packet of beads wasn't so small that it would have slipped between the sofa cushions or gone unnoticed had it fallen out of the bag somewhere on the sidewalk. It was about the size of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but dense for its size.

Is there anywhere I haven't looked? In every bag, under the bed, between the sofa cushions, in the basement, everywhere in my car, in my laptop tote, in my office, in the basement again, in the closets, in my coat pockets, amidst the countertop clutter, dining room table clutter, craft room clutter, existing bead population, and then all of those places again a couple more times.

I think about it repeatedly throughout the day. It has become a mental obsession. But here's the thing.

I already bought replacement beads--I had to since I was the one who lost everyone's beads. I am being driven to distraction and depression not by the loss but by the forgetting. Where did that 20 seconds of time go? It remained intact for everyone else who was there, but my part got stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe and walked out of the room to places undetermined.

My brain is not that full right now, so why can't I remember? And why can't I forget about it?