Today was my coworker's funeral. It was depressing at the start, and I was a bit shocked that the casket was right there in the church lobby, open. I didn't look at Marlene. I didn't want to see her that way. Instead, I walked to the other side of the lobby and took in the photo display that recounted the happy days Marlene had enjoyed in her life.
During the service (and the pastor absolutely rocked), there were many kind words said about Marlene. I would say they were all accurate and sincere, and not made-up, phony funeral crap. As I sat there listening, I thought, "What would people say about me if I were to die tomorrow? The list I came up with is probably pretty close to correct, but it's also unflattering.
When I got home, I made two lists. I had a therapy session today, so I shared the list with my therapist. She found it troubling. She finds my whole life right now to be troubling. Without further ado, (what is ado?)...the lists:
What they will say when I'm gone:
Good at motivating
Hard to know
She was Bipolar, you know.
Words I wish they would say:
Sensitive (in the good way)
Thoughtful & considerate
She tried hard
Undiminished by her illness
Worthwhile as a person, and not just as a person who can do things or get things done
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